Saturday, June 15, 2013

Reviews: T.O.A.D. "Endless Night"

By: Salvia Hex

Milos is a semi-retired porn star and lives with his wife Marija and six-year-old son, Petar... 

"Now just hold up there one minute, how can you be semi-retired at anything? You either do it or you don't, right? Even if it's porn. What, is he only fucking people 20 hours a week or some shit?" asks Alex as he pulls Entombed's "Uprising" from it's resting place on the shelf amongst other records. He deftly slides the record out of it's sleeve, dropping it onto the turntable with a practiced touch.

Nate grimaced at the question. "I don't know, man. I'm just reading what they wrote here...."

"Doesn't really make any fucking sense, but fuck it. Keep going." Alex shot back.

The needle slides it's way into the groove, finding it's place, diving into the canyons of sound.

His brother Marko is a corrupt police officer who envies Milos's wife and is attracted to her. Marija is curious about her husband's past and is concerned about the family’s income. Lejla, a former co-star, offers Milos a starring role in an art film directed by Vukmir, an independent pornographer who wishes to cast Milos for his powerful erection. 

"I have that same problem!" laughed Trey.

"What? You're casting an art film?"

The room laughs as Trey shoots a death stare at Andy.

"No, motherfucker, I have a powerful goddamn erection."

Peter looks up from the book he's reading, bemused, "Who gave Trey mushrooms again?"

Having already caught Petar watching one of his films and not informed on the details of Vukmir's film, Milos is hesitant to participate and continue his career, but accepts to secure his family’s financial future. While meeting Vukmir, Milos passes a bald man and his entourage, regarding them warily.

"Never trust a bald man" cautions Andy and everyone in the room nods solemnly.

"Agreed!" They reply in chorus.

"Or a woman. In fact, I'd say you can trust a bald woman even less." Andy posits thoughtfully. 

Shooting begins at an orphanage, where Vukmir feeds Milos instructions through an earpiece given by Vukmir's driver Raša, while a film crew follows him. Milos sees young girl Jeca physically abused and scolded by her mother, who has disgraced her deceased war hero husband's memory by becoming a whore. 

In a dark room, screens show Jeca seductively eating an ice pop while Milos is fellated by a nurse. 

"Wait. What? WHAT?"

Nate reads the line again...

In a dark room, screens show Jeca seductively eating an ice pop while Milos is fellated by a nurse.

"Okay, we have to see this fuckin' thing." Alex exclaims as he bounces out of his chair. "Andy, see if that shit is on Netflix."

Nate continues reading...

Then, Milos is instructed to receive it from the mother, while Jeca watches. Milos refuses, but is forced to continue. Marko later informs him that Vukmir is a former psychologist and has worked in children's TV and state security. Vukmir meets a hesitant Milos afterward to explain his artistic style, showing a film of a woman giving birth to a newborn which is immediately raped by Raša, in what the director terms "newborn porn." The horrified Milos storms out and drives away. At a road junction, he is approached and seduced by Vukmir's female doctor.

"Newborn porn. Holy fuck. I don't even know how to wrap my head around that one. I mean, we straight past some I Spit On Your Grave rape/revenge shit right into some really fucked up new territory here." Nate breathes as he looks up from the computer screen.

"Come on. We have to watch this shit." exclaims Alex. I don't care if we have to go to Siberia...."

"Serbia." Pete interjects.

"Siberia, Serbia, Ikea...I don't care." 

A bloodied Milos wakes up in his bed some time later with no memory of what has happened. He returns to the now abandoned set and finds a number of tapes. Viewing them, Milos discovers that he was drugged to induce an aggressive, sexually aroused and suggestible state. 

At Vukmir's manipulative direction, Milos beats and rapes Jeca's mother before decapitating her to induce rigor mortis and later, a catatonic Milos is sodomized by Vukmir's security. He then watches footage of Lejla voicing concern for Milos, only to be restrained as her teeth are removed. A masked man then enters the room and suffocates her. 

The footage continues as Milos is led to Jeca's home where an elderly woman praises him for killing her mother and offers Jeca as a "virgin commune." Milos refuses and escapes through a window to an alleyway, where he watches a girl pass by. He begins masturbating and is assaulted by a group of thugs before they are killed by Raša, who then takes Milos back to a warehouse with Vukmir.

"Hold on a minute."

Nate pauses at Jason's suggestion.

"This guy has just gone through the most terrible shit imaginable, he's been raped by a bunch of huge dudes, he did some raping of his own, he kills a whore, but all of the sudden he has to jerk off just because he jumped out of a window? Did I miss something?"

"Man, I think he's jerking off to the girl that walked by." Andy answers.

"Really? You're running for you life and you stop to jerk off to some skirt that walks by on the street? This guys has a lot more issues than just being a "semi-retired" porn star. A lot. This asshole needs some counseling. Fast."

At the warehouse, Vukmir's doctor administers more drugs after which Milos overpowers her, sticking the syringe into her throat. He is then taken into a room to have intercourse with two hidden comatose bodies under a sheet. 

"Oh shit. Two bodies under a sheet. Yeah, nothing shady here. Move along..."

As Milos is guided onto one body the masked man from Lejla’s movie enters and begins raping the other. Vukmir then reveals the masked man to be Marko, his victim to be Marija and finally, that Milos is raping Petar. An enraged Milos lunges at Vukmir and smashes his head against the floor, initiating a brawl during which Marija bludgeons Marko to death with a sculpture. Milos wrestles a gun from a guard and shoots all but the one-eyed Raša, who he kills by sticking his erect penis into his empty eye socket. A dying Vukmir praises Milos' actions as truly worthy of film. 

"IN HIS MOTHERFUCING EYE SOCKET. FUCK YES!" Alex screams as he begins to high five everyone in the room. "Did you hear that shit? Dude killed that motherfucker with his dick. He got skullfucked. To death. Death by dick. What in the holy fuck?"

"I'm speechless." says Nate, oblivious to the irony of his own words as Alex continues ranting...

"Is that even possible? Are dicks sharp enough? Or hard enough? I feel like it would be more like stabbing a cake with a dildo. I don't know how much damage you can do there. Will a dildo kill a cake?"

"Why are we talking about cake? That's just not fucking right." Jason yells across the room.

Milos, having recalled his actions, including locking his wife and son in their basement before passing out earlier, returns home to find them. He and his wife come to a mutual understanding that he, his wife, and his child, should die together, so the three gather in bed and embrace before Milos fires a fatal shot through himself, Petar, and Marija. Sometime later a new film crew, including the bald man from earlier, enters the bedroom. He unzips his fly, as the director advises him to "start with the little one."

"Alex, put some Thin Lizzy on now..."

Alex nods in agreement.

"Yeah, I think we're gonna need a lot more beer too."

Final Score: 9/10

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