Monday, February 4, 2013

Driving Force: Brett Thomas (Ladybird/Metal Night)

By: Salvia Hex

In this edition of Driving Force, we reached out to the barren, desert wastelands of Phoenix to track down the illustrious Brett Thomas of Ladybird. Aside from being in a stupid heavy sludge band, he's also the main man behind the Metal Nights at the Time Out Lounge, where once a week he infiltrates the world of Bud Lime and Kenny Chesney to drop a heaping slab of heavy wax all over unsuspecting ears. We cornered him outside the local methadone clinic and forced him to either answer these ten questions or we would report him to Sheriff Joe Arpiao's racist posse.

Who are you and what do you do?

My name is Brett. I do lots of thing. But, pertaining to this interview, I started a Stoner/Doom metal night at Time Out Lounge because I wanted to play pool, drink, and was sick of some dude in white plaid shorts walking in and playing Lady Google. Wes, the bartender on Thursday nights (who also runs Erratic Radio), put a shout out for a DJ night and I came up with the idea and made a poster even though I’m not a DJ nor did I have DJ equipment. Basically, every other Thursday I play stoner/doom metal from 10-2am with a featured record that plays all the way through at midnight. So yes, I do flip the record with dead silence as side B starts. That’s how the shit is meant to be listened to.

For our readers that are still stuck in the compact disc era, tell us why vinyl is important...

If you don’t get it, I’m not going to sound like an asshole and try to explain it. If you do great, and if you jam the same shit on cds or mp3s or whatever...awesome. I’d be better off arguing whose dick is bigger or solid state vs tube amps.

Have you ever played an album backwards and heard Satan tell you to kill your parents?

No, I did play the Godhunter 7inch backwards though. It kept telling me to shoot my goo into my own mouth.

In your opinion, what is one album that should ONLY be listened to in vinyl form?

“The Infernal Paramount” by Fister. Look that shit up its probably the coolest record pressing I have ever seen. Fuck, I really wish I would have thought about that before those guys did.

I see a lot of "the kids" trading tapes again. How soon can we expect the 8 Track revival? I still have a sweet copy of Diver Down on 8 Track...

You should probably burn it and inhale the plastic fumes.

Tell us a little about Ladybird? Is it a Christian worship band?

Ladybird is a doom piss sludge band I play in. And yeah, we are a Christian war ship band. Most of the shit we write about is theoretical situations where a whole bunch of Christians start a war and are marooned on a single ship after the second battle of heaven and the only thing they have to eat is Viagra, Strawberry lube, and energy powder. Nothing of interest happens unless you find faith, crying, and prayer interesting.

What kind of name is Ladybird anyway? Did you really name the band after Hank Hill's dog?

Yeah, it’s a pretty faggy name. Whatever. And sure, that works. Or you can say we were named after Labiabird Johnson, the First Lady.

You play bass, right? Have you ever "dropped" your bass? I heard that's big right now.

My bass is drop tuned so low my strings are floppier then a double-sided jelly dong. You should talk to Josh, our guitarist. He’s dropped his guitar so many times we made him buy strap locks.

A dog will lick it's own ass, but won't eat a pickle. Please explain this in 500 words or less.

All you have to do is shove the pickle up your ass, eat it, and pet the dog. Problem solved.

The last words are yours, make 'em count, chief...

I’m working with Ear/Splitters on compiling a solid distro that will be available at Metal Night. If anyone is interested send me an email, I’d love to distro/feature new stuff. I guess that’s it. Quit carving shit into the giant poster I put there? Or at least make it funny instead of carving, “gay kiss my”. Tell me what to gay kiss, fag.

Metal Night:
Erratic Radio:

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